The Palm Trees are Really Cool: Onboard the Carnival Valor’s Southern Route (Part Four)featured

The nice thing about cruising out of San Juan is that departure times are often late. Very late. Ours was at 10:00 pm. Normal sailaway times are often between 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm. So this meant a few things that reacted off each other: late departure meant late embarkation which meant I could sleep in. So while Mom and Stephanie were up bright and early, my head wouldn’t lift from the pillow until after 9:00 am. And I’d only wake up for one thing…

It was raining out, which didn’t bode too well for our day, and we had charges on our room from a bar we didn’t visit (turns out, the bartender hadn’t swiped their room keys and just asked what room they were in to apply charges. Check those check out balances, friends). Stephanie made friends with the parrots while Mom cleared the extra charges.

Even though we’re Platinum and we have priority embarkation, we like to get to the pier early so we can be in the first group to board. With this trip, though, late embarkation meant delayed boarding, so we slowed our roll a bit. We packed up and left the hotel around 11. Twenty minutes (and a $22 cab ride) later, we were at the pier.

It was very congested at the port area, a combination of late debarkers with a heavy volume of people getting dropped off. We were a bit perplexed because as we entered the terminal, there was no security. Like, yeah, we had to show our docs and passports, but metal detectors? X-ray machines? None. We didn’t get it.

We were sent straight to the Platinum/VIP lounge, which was a small blessing because the terminal was packed. We’d read plenty of reviews that mentioned leisurely boarding and no lines, but I think that only applies if you arrive after general boarding begins (after 1:00 pm). It certainly wasn’t our case.

The Platinum lounge in San Juan was different than the others we’d waited in. I’m not sure if it’s new practice or just exclusive to San Juan, but the lounge served snacks (sandwiches, cookies and pastries) and had coffee, water and lemonade to quench our thirst while we waited. The lounge was small (too small to fit all the Platinum and Diamond cruisers and all of the suite passengers) and noisy, but we found a table to sit at and grabbed a few of those crumbly and delicious cookies to nosh on while we waited.

We walked past the general boarding area as we were brought out to begin boarding (we were in group 1 and we started boarding at 12:30 pm) and they had duty free shops and free liquor tastings, which seemed more fun than cookies and lemonade. We didn’t have too much time to ponder because that security line that we skipped when we entered the terminal? Yeah, you go through it before you board. It’s slow, it’s ridiculously misplaced and it causes one hell of a bottleneck. Our Sail and Sign photo was taken not in the terminal as it usually was, but when we dinged in as we stepped onto the ship (causing, you guessed it, another bottleneck).

We found the Valor just as we left her in 2011, patriotic lighting and all.

While everyone else headed up to the Lido deck to grab lunch, we made a beeline for our room. 7337. Centrally located off the elevators and a palindrome to boot! Our room was ready when we boarded (thank you Platinum VIFP status!), so we headed in and found our room ready for us and the water bottle package Stephanie had pre-ordered waiting.

And because I’m a dork, I noticed the remotes were different. Stephanie Google’d them and they’re called Clean Remotes because they have no crevices where germs and dirt and gross stuff can hide. That said, they won’t clean themselves and bringing some Lysol wipes to wipe everything down with doesn’t hurt, either.

The one downer we noticed immediately was that our room was hot. Very hot. We tinkered with the thermostat a little and left in the hopes it would cool down while we were out. In the meanwhile, we headed up to the Lido deck for some lunch.

The Valor does not have the Funship 2.0 upgrades, so it doesn’t have Guy’s Burgers or the Blue Iguana Cantina (which was my favorite noshing grounds of our Breeze trip). It did have the old school grill, though, so we made a beeline for those delicious chicken tenders that they didn’t have on the Breeze.

With a cakepop for dessert!

We took a short stroll after lunch and we were reminded of one of our favorite parts of the Valor:

The aft pool and whirlpools? ADULTS ONLY. The Valor not only has the 21+ Serenity area in the forward upper decks, but the aft area was adults only, as well.

Since the ship was docked until this evening, we were able to get off the ship for a couple more hours in San Juan. We were in no rush to get back – we checked the Fun Times and the Welcome Aboard show wasn’t listed (in fact, there was no entertainment for the evening aside from a sailaway deck party), so we weren’t in a rush to unpack, get through dinner and go to a show. Dinner was open seating for everyone and muster drill was at 9:30 pm. We had plenty of time.

So first we hit the CVS across the street to grab Diet Coke, some snacks and liquid soap. Stephanie had read online that they changed the hand soap they left in the rooms and she found them to be accurate when we got into our room, so we grabbed a bottle of liquid antibacterial hand soap. She also wanted a bottle of Barefoot Bubbly to drink on the balcony (you’re allowed to carry on one bottle of wine per person). I only had one thing on my mind: that Gasolina. And even though I thought I’d searched the entire liquor section the day before, I neglected to check the very bottom shelf of one of the fridge sections. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s where the Gasolina lived! They only had a few flavors (I went with Tu Madras – a blend of vodka, cranberry juice, passion fruit juice and orange juice) and a ten pack only set me back $7.99.

After we checked out, we decided to do one last loop on the trolley and we were even able to snag the last row seats so we could take some unobstructed pictures out the back!

It was nice seeing the sights one last time. We even came across this rally outside El Morro.

I do have to give one warning, though. Something I alluded to in my last post. You always need to be careful when you’re traveling around foreign cities. If you’re riding around on this trolley, you are almost certainly a tourist. With that, you need to avoid stupid tourist behaviors and mistakes, especially when it comes to how you carry your belongings. When we were passing by Castillo San Cristóbal (which is located close to La Perla), we passed by this group of young local boys. Those boys hopped on their bikes and started circling around the trolley, looking for any belongings they could grab off people on the ends, pointing and laughing at people and making crude jokes. As I’ve mentioned, this trolley moves pretty slowly and it’s decently long, so you can’t count on the driver to spot trouble. Exercise caution and common sense: keep your handbags and backpacks towards the inside of the trolley, if you shoot with an SLR, wear it around your neck, not your arm, and always, always be on your guard.

We headed back to the ship after we got off the trolley, which was slightly difficult because we had to walk back through the terminal, through check in and security again. Stephanie had the wine and gasolina in her backpack and after the x-ray machine, security put a zip tie on her backpack to signify that she needed to drop the contents off at the liquor check in. Once we got into the walkway onto the ship, I grabbed the bag with the Gasolina box out of her backpack and carried it on since it wasn’t flagged. Stephanie went to the liquor check in, showed them that she only had a bottle of champagne (which is kosher to carry on to enjoy in your room), and that was that. We dropped our goods off at the room.

Our luggage arrived not long after that, so we took our time unpacking.

It was actually kind of nice to be able to unpack and not have to rush off to muster drill or sailaway. We took our time and all unpacked, and with that behind us, we were ready to enjoy our ship!

The Valor used to have a sushi bar, but it was converted into Carnival’s Taste Bar. I know that’s unpopular with some, but I don’t do sushi so bring on the Taste!

With the late departure this evening, all dining (even assigned traditional dining) was open seating. We spent some time hanging out on the promenade before heading out to dinner.

Dinner was…okay. We aren’t really fans of the first night menu, but we also didn’t want the heaviness of a meal at the supper club. The Crème Brulee? Excellent. The steak? Not so much. It just tasted…off. Everything else was unremarkable.

Bread Basket

Linguini with Italian Sausage, Bell Peppers and Mushrooms (Starter Portion)

Guacamole and Tomato Salsa

Gazpacho Andalouse

Caesar Salad

Cream of Sun Ripened Tomatoes

Fried Chicken Tenders, Marinated Cucumber and Lettuce

Sweet and Sour Shrimp

Tender Braised Beef Brisket in Gravy

Grilled Flat Iron Steak from USDA Choice Beef

Vanilla Crème Brulee

We walked around a bit after dinner, exploring a bit here, laying out on deck there. The Dive In Movie screen was up, but no movie came on (total bummer because we love MUTS!)

Out in the distance, there were fireworks going off in the Condado area.

We headed back to the room for a bit and found that our room was still pretty hot. And we had a towel animal. And that was nice. But not enough to distract from the fact that our room was really flipping hot.

The Proposal was on TV and we settled in with that for a bit, but ten minutes before muster drill, our room steward ushered us out of the room and down to our muster station. And muster drill? Was awful. So awful. On many of our recent cruises, muster was handled in a designated lounge or restaurant, in the comfort of some heavy air conditioning. On the Valor? They took it old school. Everyone outside. Everyone stands. Como sardinas en lata. Sardines in a can. And that would have been fine except for the following occurrences:

1. It was hot. Very hot. Puerto Rico is hot during the day, and it stays hot at night. Hot hot hot. Even hotter when you’re shoulder to shoulder, front to back with strangers who are also very hot.

2. Being so late at night, many people were already very drunk. And very late. And they would not start the drill until everyone was in their station, which took an extra 15 minutes.

3. Because we were home ported in Puerto Rico and there was a heavy contingent of Puerto Ricans on the ship, we had to listen through the drill instructions twice: once in English and once in Spanish, so the drill took twice as long.

4. And on top of all of that, they released one side of the ship at a time. And you guessed it, we weren’t on that first side released. And they waited until the stairwells and elevators cleared out from half of the ship on the other side before releasing us.

In summary, muster drill was its own ring of hell. And lets be frank: I’ve been on more than a dozen Carnival cruises in the past 10 years. I know the drill. I know how to put on my life vest, I know how to find my muster station, I know not to bring my personal belongings with me. I don’t need a get out of jail free card here, but rather, just a more comfortable place to refresh the details.

After a half hour of invade-your-personal-space bonding time with our fellow muster station mates, we didn’t really feel up to a deck party, so we decided to enjoy sailaway from the comfort of our balcony with a few pouches of Gasolina that we had left chilling in the ice bucket. And if you were wondering, those Gasolina pouches, while tasty, are incredibly strong. And sweet. High alcohol content + high sugar content = a one way ticket on the rapid transit to migraine city if you aren’t careful.

We headed up to Lido when the Late Night Grill opened up. Mom opted for a sandwich from the deli, which was embarrassingly skimpy. The burgers from the late night grill, though? A+.

Refueled, we headed down to the casino to get our cards punched and some lanyards to keep them on. The crowd was a bit…rowdy. More lively than we were used to for sure. More entertaining than rowdy crowds was the lounge singer that didn’t know the words to the YMCA.

We made our way to the shops for a bit and…okay. I don’t know why people purchase anything in the perfume/watch/jewelry stores if their intent is to find a bargain. The prices aren’t competitive. I’m sorry. The Michael Kors watches (Stephanie’s personal weakness) were 10% off and duty free, but the pricing there just isn’t competitive. Any shopper worth their Amex knows this. The onboard sale prices won’t touch the prices at Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale. And don’t get me started on Invicta watches and the madness that ensues anytime there’s a “sale” there. The discount is perceived, not actual. Show me who has paid $1,000 for an Invita watch. You can routinely buy these watches for less than $100 at TJ Maxx or on Groupon. The only real deals I’ve found is in the liquor stores, and if you’re on an Eastern Caribbean route, chances are, you’ll find a better deal off the ship on that, too.

My failure to find a deal of any kind in the shops coupled with the fact that it was 1:00 in the morning and the Gasolina really was that strong had me more than ready to fall into bed face first. The room was starting to cool down a bit when we got back and with a very long day behind us, we went to bed looking forward to a new day in a new place.

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Today’s Lido Lunch Menu

 

Today’s Lido Dinner Menu