Key Largo, Montego, Baby Why Don’t We Go (Or, a Week on The World’s Largest Cruise Ship): Part Fourfeatured

Day two in Florida got a bit of an early start. A really early start. See, Stephanie is a very, very heavy sleeper. And Stephanie had an 8:00 am flight, which meant she had to be up at 4:00 am at the latest and out of the house by 5:00 am. Mom took it upon herself to make sure Stephanie was up by calling her at 3:00 am…Florida time. Which meant Stephanie got a wake up call at 2:00 am for her 8:00 am flight. It was an early morning for all of us. I wished Stephanie a safe flight and went back to bed. Stephanie, meanwhile, boarded a flight to Miami…first class. I told her she had to sing Glamorous as she boarded.

So as Stephanie noshed on her vegetarian quiche and marveled at how the seats in first class recline all the way, Mom and I got a little more sleep and then started getting ready for our day. The plan was this: we were going to pick Stephanie up in Miami on our way to Key Largo. We’d drive a bit further down to Islamorada for lunch and then head back to Fort Lauderdale for dinner. Why the trip to the Keys? It’s all part of the Kokomo bucket list! And it’s actually a quick drive from Fort Lauderdale — just over an hour and a bit. And Islamorada…well…okay. So Kokomo doesn’t exist anymore. It may or may not currently be an island used by Sandals. There’s some speculation that Kokomo was based on a bar in Islamorada (that doesn’t exist anymore). And unless I want to spend some quality time in Kokomo Indiana, Islamorada is the closest I’m getting to Kokomo.

We were live tracking Stephanie’s flight and the idea was that we’d Skype with her through her flight until she was approaching Miami and then we’d leave, but she was flying through storms and never came online (it just turned out that her plane had no wi-fi), so when Stephanie’s flight was approaching SoFlo, we headed out (after, of course, the daily obligatory we’re-in-Florida palm tree picture).

And we grabbed a quick breakfast of egg white McMuffins at McDonald’s (and picked up a diet Coke for Stephanie…we’re good like that) while I mused at my failure to follow my own rule of not eating at nationwide fast food chains in favor of local restaurants while we travel.

We got to MIA right as Stephanie was grabbing her luggage (traveling first class on American allows you to check up to three bags for free, so she had her stowed luggage, a checked bag of her own and a checked bag that all three of us used). Unlike O’Hare, the traffic monitors will allow you to stand and wait at the curb. Plus one, Miami International.

Our family now reunited and complete, we headed off to the Keys.

The drive from Miami to Key Largo was around an hour and it passed incredibly quick. And it was almost all highway. We drove over the water for maybe a mile (to my disappointment — I thought the idea of driving over the water was awesome). First stop in Key Largo? Any place that had a sign that said Key Largo that I could take a picture with to prove I was there as I crossed it off my list. Hello, Key Largo Visitors Bureau.

We stopped in to grab some pamphlets and look at the small museum-like exhibit they have set up (and we signed the guest book at the request of the woman who worked there and whose favorite part of her job was seeing where everyone comes from when they visit) and then we headed off for…parts unknown. Here’s a little known fact about Key Largo: it’s not at all tropical. Most of the beaches are private and the drive through Key Largo as you journey to the more southern keys is residential highway where you pass by motel after motel after diner after motel. Next time we’ll plan better or look for *something* to do. As it was…we passed through and made our way the half hour south to Islamorada.

We had a plan for Islamorada — lunch at Lorelei Cabana Bar. Lorelei is a local favorite and gets ridiculously good reviews on TripAdvisor…just our kind of place.

Lorelei has a covered patio and an outdoor deck. We were prompted to choose whatever table we wanted when we arrived (we chose an umbrella-covered table on the deck) and we quickly began perusing the menus that were waiting in a bucket on the table. Our server quickly made her way over and rattled off some specials and took our drink orders…a beer for Stephanie, a Key Lime Colada for me (when in the Keys…) and… a diet Coke for Mom.

That Key Lime Colada was SO good. The rim was dipped in graham cracker crumbs and it was like drinking a spiked lime milkshake.

We placed our orders as we enjoyed our drinks — a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich for Stephanie (our server said it came with Cheese Whiz but she couldn’t in good conscience let Stephanie have a sandwich with Cheese Whiz on it and insisted she substitute in provolone — a good choice, Stephanie decided), a Marinated Steak Sandwich for me (basted in house made barbeque sauce…SO good) and Coconut Shrimp for Mom (she said it was some of the freshest, best shrimp she’s ever had).

We lingered at Lorelei’s for a bit enjoying the ambiance before heading back to the car. It was busy, but somehow quietly serene. A perfect spot for a relaxing vacation lunch.

We made our way back up into Key Largo, wagering over/unders on the number of motel’s we’d pass on the way, before making one more stop.

Here’s the thing: I’m pretty sure it’s, like, illegal or something to visit the Florida Keys and not have Key Lime Pie. Something like that. In our research of places to dine in the Keys, we came across Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen, which is famous for their Key Lime Pie. I told Mom to get a couple slices and we’d eat in the restaurant. Stephanie deciphered that three slices of pie was the same price as a whole pie, and with the unprovoked reinforcement of the restaurant hostess, we walked out of Mrs. Mac’s with a pie and three forks to bring back to the hotel with us.

The ride back to Plantation was less than an hour and a half and passed rather quickly, even with the brief rain shower.

When we got back to the hotel, we upped the fancy and ate Key Lime Pie out of paper cups. The pie was excellent, but after a slice and a half, I never wanted to see a Key Lime Pie again for the rest of my life.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but whenever we try a new cruise line (I did the same thing when we traveled Princess for the first time a number of years ago), I put together a binder with activity guides, menus, ship information, etc. We use the binders to plan and familiarize ourselves with the ships and the lines. Before I passed out into a sugar coma from the pie, Stephanie and I looked through my binder for a bit, noting things that looked interesting and that we’d want to do. And then I passed out for a good few hours (and woke up still never wanting to see a slice of pie ever again).

I woke up to a sunburn and a slew of emails from work that capped off with an email from my boss saying how much they missed me at work already. Despite the sunburn and the exhaustion, we headed out again. Stephanie needed some things from Target and Mom wanted to pick up muffins for breakfast at Publix. We hit up Old Navy (again) and then we headed for a late dinner at Smokey Bones…again (where, two thumbs up for Smokey Bones, our server offered to substitute in some extra avocado on my salad because I didn’t want any chicken or pork on top of it and my salad came out with, like, a full avocado. Stephanie opted for a pulled pork sandwich and Mom opted for a plain baked potato).

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel. At some point, I showered and then I just passed out. I needed all the extra rest I could get as we geared up for the Allure.